


Alone, Together

by ViceroyOfMonteCristo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst and stuff, Crying, F/M, sympathy sex?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:47:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9020887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViceroyOfMonteCristo/pseuds/ViceroyOfMonteCristo
Summary: Being dead is boring and lonely. Tavros and Nepeta both know that; and when they find their paths crossed, they aren't going to let each other go anytime soon.





	

Tavros Nitram felt alone. And not just in the physical sense. Not to imply he had much of a “physical sense” anymore, anyway. He really didn't know the details of being a ghost, nor did he care. But regardless, he was alone. As far as he could tell, it had been a couple days since Vriska had killed him after he tried to stop her from going off to fight Jack on her own. He didn't know what happened after that, but he could only assume he had failed... just like how he failed at everything else. He had failed to protect Aradia from her. He had failed to help his friends win the game they were playing; the one thing that could save their race from extinction. And worst of all: he had failed to protect himself.

There wasn't much he could do at this point, other than sulk. Maybe being alone was better for him. That way nobody could see how _pitiful_ he was. But much to his dismay, his brief talks with Feferi back when he was alive gave him a small understanding of how the Dream Bubbles worked for those deceased. And he knew that in their lazy drifting around the deeper caverns of Paradox Space, some would inevitably merge and he would have to face the ghosts of his co-players once more. And he really didn't want to see most of them anymore. Looking back on it... most of them were pretty insufferable anyway, except for a select few.

Gamzee was okay. He did enjoy their occasional jam sessions, but he didn't necessarily consider the idea of them doing anything... red. And Aradia was a great FLARP team member, but once again, he still felt so guilty about not being able to protect her from Vriska, even when she had told him there was nothing he could have done about it. He hadn't had much interaction with Terezi outside of FLARPing, but he didn't _dislike_ her. She was just sorta creepy. If he had to be honest with himself, he realized that he really wasn't cut out for FLARP in general. He was too weak; too much of a coward. Maybe Karkat was right. None of this would've happened if he had just stopped playing games for girls.

Thinking back on things, the bronzeblood realized that, out of everyone he had done any kind of roleplaying with, he had enjoyed his time most with Nepeta, simply because it was much less... _stressful_ than FLARP. He could talk with her about anything! And she was so cute too, and really great at being in character, and so _expressive and charming..._ But deep down, he knew that Equius despised her interacting so much with a lowblood like him. That didn't necessarily stop them from talking on a near-daily basis, but he still felt a slight pang of anxiety any time they did. The last thing he wanted to do was annoy Equius, especially since he built the lower half of his body and could have remotely controlled it at any point. And there he was, bending his knee to yet another manipulator. One more person controlling his life.

Tavros aimlessly wandered around his recollection of the meteor. If there was one thing to appreciate about being dead, at least he could use his actual legs again. But that wasn't much of an appeasement given how futile everything felt now. He was a phantom; someone who had reached the end of their usage in the real world. There wasn't anything more he could do to help anyone. He felt like just another pawn in the strange, galactic chessboard that Sgrub had set for the 12 of them. And the worst part? He had felt that way his entire life. Nothing more than an object designed solely to be _used_ , to be _manipulated_ by anyone and everyone who wanted to get something done.

Like he was just one more stair for everyone to step on. And _goddammit_ , did everyone do it.

He just couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to do something, _literally anything_ to save someone. To keep Vriska from dooming them all. To protect everyone else. To protect _himself._ _To just have another chance to live._

He could feel a terrible, churning feeling in his chest. Like his lungs were filled with fire, like every breath he took was a desperate attempt to expel a plague that was welling up inside. In his ambling, he had managed to find his way to the common area of the meteor. His mind rang with thoughts of the other 11, tormented and quarantined on a rock floating in the depths of the veil, trying to find any way they could to keep themselves alive, futilely searching for a solution to kill Jack before he killed them. He didn't know much about the four humans they'd been in contact with, but he really didn't think they could be of much help to save their rapidly dwindling race at this point.

The burning in his chest got hotter. He felt his legs drop out from under him, but he easily could've mistaken it for the floor itself falling into the void. It was like the world around him was collapsing and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. _As if life was just another being that wanted to use him and then throw him away like a plaything._

Tavros crashed to the floor, slumping next to one of the computer terminals. He felt as though he deserved this, as though there was nothing he could do simply because nobody wanted him to do anything, as if he wasn't deserving of importance. The inferno in his chest slowly moved its way up his sternum, flushing his face with a strong bronze and leaving him gasping for air. He could feel himself tearing up, his own mind clearing itself of anything that wasn't an insult to his own existence. _You're useless_ , he could feel it telling him. _You're not worthy of this. You couldn't save them. You weren't brave enough. You weren't strong enough._

He didn't know how long he sat there, but it was long enough to where he had thoroughly drenched his own face. He could feel a steady stream coming from his eyes, his own ugly gulping for air in between sobs being the only noise he heard, reverberating around him, haunting his ears. There was a horrible sensation that resonated in his chest, as though all his organs were twisting against each other, yearning to explode out of his ribcage and spill out over the floor, as if they wanted to break out of the disgusting body they were trapped in, like his own innards were betraying him because not even they wanted anything to do with him. He felt terrible, but he knew that was how he was supposed to feel. He deserved this kind of suffering.

There was a slight change around him, as though the room was phasing in and out of existence. Tavros guessed that his Bubble had floated into the realm of another. He suddenly realized that he really, _really_ didn't want anyone to see him like this, should anyone happen upon him, so he did his best to hurriedly dry his eyes against his jacket and scrabbled up onto his legs again. He had forgotten how hard it could be to balance on them when he was so wrought with emotion. He dusted himself off and managed to stabilize himself enough to hobble to the transportalizer and warp out of the room.

The Taurus decided that his best option to stay away from whoever was now in his bubble would be to head off to his private room, meaning he would have to travel down into the center of the meteor where Sollux had stationed the 12 individually-labelled warp pads. When he reached the room, though, he was surprised to find that one of the other pads was unlocked – Nepeta's. He already feared the worst: What if Vriska had lead Jack straight to the meteor? Had he killed everyone? _Was there anyone left?_ His morbid curiosity and anxiety got the best of him, as he felt himself rush over to her pad and teleport into her room.

Her room wasn't very well lit, but he could barely see a huddled silhouette in the corner; the darkened figure nearly jumped at the sound of the transportalizer activating. She quickly looked up at her intruder, wiping her eyes and quickly trying to compose herself, still unaware of who was actually in her room. Tav worried she was having the same problems he was, realizing that she was, in fact, just as dead as him.

As Tavros moved into the light closer to Nepeta, her expression rapidly turned less hopeful.. “Oh god, Equius is tha- oh. Uh, h-hi, Tavros.” She suddenly remembered what she had heard from her moirail about Tavros and Vriska, right before... _that_ happened. “Oh my god Tav, are you okay? I'm so sorry about you and Vriska-”

“N-no, it's, uh, alright. I suppose I had it c-coming.” Tavros stammered out his words as well as he could. On one hand, he was so happy to see Nepeta again, but on the other hand, the circumstances couldn't have been worse. “I'm so, so sorry about all this. I can't help b-but feel like this is, um, somehow all my fault?”

“What's that supposed to mean? This isn't because of you! None of this is!” Nepeta realized that he had no idea what had occurred since he died. “Wait. Do you think Vriska did this?”

“S-she didn't?” Tavros had no idea what was going on. If Vriska didn't cause what had happened to her, who could have, other than Jack? “Nep, _please_ , tell me what happened.”

Nepeta slowly started to go over everything she could remember. She told him about Kanaya's plans to hatch the Matriorb, and Eridan going crazy and killing Kanaya and Feferi, and then...

Her voice started to quaver as she told him about Gamzee. “I-I-I don't know what got into him he – he just went insane – something happened... and Equius told me to stay in his room b-but I didn't and...” she could feel her face heating up, like she was going to lose control of her emotions again. After she and Equius had realized they died, they had spent quite a bit of time together, but eventually their bubbles drifted apart and Nepeta was completely alone again. Without her moirail by her side, she fell into a deep depression, not something she was used to in the slightest. She felt like she had nobody to turn to, as if the world was actively trying to keep her from being happy. She didn't know how long she had been alone, but it had been long enough for her to crave some kind of interaction, just absolutely _anyone_ who she could call a friend.

But for once, now she had someone to turn to. She flung herself at Tavros, burying her face in his chest as she desperately clung to him, not wanting to lose someone else. The boy jumped at the sudden feeling; it had been a long time since he'd seen anyone else and he had forgotten what the touch of another person felt like. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, trying to calm her as she nearly broke down. He'd never seen her like this before; normally so strong and brave, she seemed ready to crack in his arms, like a clay pot forged in a fire many years ago, growing brittle and shatterable over the ages, now capable of being crumbled with the slightest touch.

“I tried... but he was too str-strong...” Nepeta gasped between sobs, her mind reeling with thoughts flipping between revenge and sorrow. She didn't know whether she was furious with Gamzee or herself, but either way, she knew there was no going back and doing it over again. She was dead, and Equius was dead, and so was Tavros, and soon she knew everyone else would be too. She could feel herself losing hope, like there was nothing left for her or anyone. Soon Jack would be done with their universe, and his next destination would be the Dream Bubbles. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes again.

Tavros could feel it too, both in the way Nepeta heaved against his chest, and the sudden wetness on his shirt. He could feel the voice in his head calling again: _You could have stopped this_. He could feel the burning in his chest again. _You had a bond with him, and you wasted it. If you had been there for him, he wouldn't have done this._ He could feel his eyes begin to water, just like hers.

_You could have protected her. And you failed._

He was ripped back to reality by a deep, low sob from Nepeta reverberating into his chest, as he felt himself slip over the edge and began to cry with her. They sat there, for who knows how long, a tangled heap on the floor, clinging to each other as though they were the last two people in the universe, trying not to lose the only other one who was like them. Tavros did his best to support her, shakily grappling to him in any way she could, while he buried his face in her shoulder and tried to keep himself from completely falling apart. And they sat there, and rode it out together.

After a while though, they were both spent, out of tears and out of energy. Tavros shuffled them both back against a wall so he could lean against it for support, gently lifting her up off his chest to look into her eyes; deep, dark... glimmering like a distant galaxy. Looking over her face, he realized that he'd really never taken the chance pay much attention to her in person, just because of how stressful the Sgrub session and subsequent days had been. _God, she was beautiful._ Her adorable, messy hair, that thing her mouth did, her cute little fangs... He realized he had to make her feel better, somehow. He couldn't stand seeing her in such pain.

Nepeta stared up into Tavros' eyes, neither of the two trolls in any shape to say anything. His eyes glinted against the waning light like stained glass on a cold morning, frosted over with a slight tinge of bronze. Over the years of talking with him, she had gotten to know him so well, but never got to see him for who he really was. When they first met in-game, she was taken aback by how adorable he looked, and her thoughts of him turned from simply being friends into something a bit deeper. She had just never bothered to tell him, thinking it might endanger her relationship with Equius. But seeing him here and now, completely engulfed by emotion, was something she had never viewed in him before. He was sensitive; almost as though he wasn't quite ready for the dangers that FLARPing had expected him to endure... As though he could've been crushed by the world at any time, but he never gave up.

Tavros, surprisingly, was the first to break the silence. “I-it's, uh, okay. We'll get... through this. I-I mean, um, you'll get through this. I'm sure you can.”

“No, no, you were right. We'll get through this. This isn't just about me.” She knew he was just trying to make himself disappear again, like he was some kind of object, as if he didn't matter. She wanted to find some way to make him feel better about himself. “This isn't your fault.”

Tavros sighed and looked away, trying to collect his thoughts before turning back to her. “It's not your, um, fault either. This is out of our control, I g-guess.” He slumped a little further down against the wall, dropping the height difference between their faces so they were now level with each other. “I just hate seeing you so, uh... overcome, like this...”

This time it was Nepeta's turn to sigh. She didn't want to worry him with her own problems, and she had already done enough over the past few minutes. She guessed the only thing she could do was try and make it up to him. “I hate seeing you like this too. I guess crying doesn't look very good on eifurr of us...”

They both awkwardly giggled. Tavros was just glad that she was starting to do the whole “cat puns” thing again. It was the easiest way for him to tell that she was starting to feel a bit more in control of her emotions. But still, he needed to figure out how to get her back to her usual self. “Heheh, I, uh, suppose so. I take it you're f-feeling a bit better now?”

“A little. How are mew holding up?” She could see his eyes starting to clear up, slowly losing their overgloss, but managing to retain some sparkle.

“I've, um, felt better. But yeah... at least better than when I, erm, came in here.” He could see a slight smile forming in her mouth, bringing it back to the slightly-3-shaped form he was used to seeing it in. After a few seconds of silence, he added, “Does it ever just, er, feel to you like the e-entire world is, um... just out to get you?”

Nepeta closed her eyes and nodded slightly. Both of them knew there was nothing they could do about it, but somehow they felt like they could deal with that thought. Regardless, there was nothing more for her to say. They both understood. They could stay here and be alone in the world, together... at least for the time being.

They sat there in an excruciating silence for the better part of a minute, simply staring at each other, their eyes hungrily taking in each other's face, their minds simultaneously screaming _DO SOMETHING_ , both on the verge of shaking, their faces on fire, everything in their chests about to explode...

It was Nepeta who took over, grabbing Tavros' head and yanking it towards hers, their mouths mashing against each other in a deep kiss. She figured that if she didn't make a move, he obviously wouldn't have. She could feel him squirming underneath her, stunned by what was happening, his hot breath flowing into her mouth as she tasted him. After a couple seconds, she broke from him, releasing his head and letting it passively drop back against the wall.

Tavros had no idea what the hell just happened... but he enjoyed it. He didn't know if Nepeta had felt the same way about him as he did about her, or if that was just a spontaneous act of passion. He understood that he had to say something... he just didn't know what. Or how. He felt like every part of his body had been stunned, like her mouth was a live wire that just knocked every part of him out except for the part of his brain that told him if he liked things or not. And he sure liked that.

She just stared at him for a while, unsure as to whether or not she had just made a huge mistake. Did he feel the same way about her? She really hoped he'd speak up, but she knew he didn't have the guts... or maybe he did, and she'd just have to coax them out of him. “T-Tav? Are you okay?”

Eventually, he grappled control of his mouth back from the void and managed to sputter out a couple words. “O-ohmygod,NepetaIhadnoidea th-that you and that I-I and-and-and _oh god what am I doing uh uh um-”_

Nepeta thought she could grasp what he was saying in there, once he'd gotten through all of his typical stammering. “It's okay, Tav. I think I get what you mean.” She moved a bit closer to him, resting her chest against his. “You like me, don't you?”

He could feel his heart pounding in his ribcage, hard enough to where he knew she could feel it too. “I-I mean, yes! Of, um, course! H-how could anyone not, you're so strong and independent and cute and I really really like you and...” He stammered out a couple more syllables before she cut him off by pressing a finger against his lips.

“It's okay! You don't have to list any reasons, silly! I get it.” She could feel him shifting himself upward, trying to right himself against the wall. She followed his move, raising herself on her arms so she could continue to lie against him. “I just wanted you to know that I... feel the same way about you.”

At this, the bronzeblood felt like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. The idea that someone he had a crush on for _literal sweeps_ had the same feelings toward him was so liberating, something that opened his mind to a realm of possibilities that he'd only dreamed of before. He felt something strange wash over him, a warm feeling, like before when he was so depressed, but this time more hopeful and energizing. He slowly moved his face in towards Nepeta's, and she did the same, meeting him in the middle and passionately kissing him again, him wrapping his arms around her waist and her supporting herself against the wall with one hand and running the other through his hair.

They just sat like that for a while, staying close to one another, their mouths rested together, breathing each other in and focusing on the feeling of being so close to somebody else after so long. Eventually, Tavros moved his face away from Nepeta's, slowly making his way down to her neck, kissing it several times, gradually bearing more of his teeth each time, making sure not to break the skin. Nepeta gasped at the sudden contact on her sensitive skin, surprised at Tavros' movement. Not to say she didn't enjoy it.

The oliveblood righted herself and pulled her hand away from the wall, moving it downwards and slipping it beneath Tavros' shirt. She knew he had gained some upper-body muscle just from having to use his wheelchair back when he was alive, but she was surprised at how well his clothing hid it. The boy, startled by the sudden cold sensation of her hand on his skin, let out a small moan against her neck. He decided to return the favor by slipping his hands up the back of her shirt, though he found that his weren't quite as cold and didn't elicit near as much of the same reaction from her, apart from a slight keening that he got simply from coming in contact with a part of her that didn't receive much touching.

Tavros slowly moved his hands upward, with the intent to relieve her of her bra, but quickly realized that the action required much more dexterity than he was capable of in the heat of the moment. “Uh, Nep... could you, er, g-give me a hand here, please?” He sheepishly asked. She giggled lightly and pulled her hands back in order to aid him. He was astounded at how easy she made it look, even when neither of them could see it.

Equalizing the newly-started game, Nepeta requested that Tavros take off his jacket, which he did with his usual shakiness. They both agreed to take off their shirts at the same time, to level the playing field. Tavros' horns always made things much more difficult for him, but his shirt actually had velcro on the side, allowing him an alternative method of taking it off. Nepeta opted for simply yanking hers over her head.

There they were, staring at each other topless for a few silent seconds, simply taking their partner in. Tavros' chest wasn't necessarily developed, but he wasn't completely chubby. He'd gained some muscle over the years of FLARPing, but he still had some give to his stomach, enough to be really cute. Meanwhile, Tavros was amazed at how well Nepeta's shirt managed to hide her frame. She had a lithe build, flexible and athletic, with supple breasts that weren't the biggest, but were still amazing for him to look at.

They came back together and rested their hands on each other, both giving off a small breath at the sensation. He began to massage her breasts, rotating his thumbs around the sensitive onyx nubs in the center. Nepeta moaned softly, arching her back toward him in pleasure. She could feel something below her start to press into her abdomen, and it seemed to be coming from his crotch. She slowly moved herself upward, grinding against the bulge. Tavros gasped and felt a wave of warmth flush over him; he hadn't felt anything in that part of his body since the day Vriska paralyzed him, and he had forgotten just how amazing the feeling was. Now that she was closer to him, he pulled her chest toward his face and lazily started ghosting his mouth over her breasts, releasing hot breaths onto them, occasionally running his tongue over them and feeling her nipples quickly harden and her breaths become more shallow and panting.

They both silently agreed it was time to lose the pants, but they figured they may as well give each other the benefit of doing it. Nepeta pulled her weight off of Tavros' legs and slowly pulled the waist of his pants toward her, revealing his boxers, black with little Fiduspawn logos patterned all over them. There was a sizable mound in the center, bigger than she ever would have expected of the bronzeblood. She could feel an even stronger blush run across her face. Tavros noticed it too, but for different reasons. “U-uh, I know it might not be the biggest, b-but I-ahhhhHHh...” His words trailed off as the oliveblood stooped down and rubbed her palm against it. She could already tell he was excited, the area around his tip already considerably wet; she could also feel the same happening in her pants as well... and quickly. But now it was Tavros' turn to find that out. He slowly and shakily moved his hands up toward her waistline, gingerly pulling down her sweatpants to reveal a pair of olive boxers with little cat faces printed on them. He returned her favor by reaching down into them and running a finger against her, an action that made Nepeta quiver and nearly collapse into his chest. She let out a breathy moan, appended at the end with a slight gasp as he nearly slipped a finger into her. He danced his fingertips around her entrance, bringing them back to the bundle of nerves at the top every once in a while, drinking in the adorable noises she would make when he rubbed at her the right way. Eventually, she began to do the same, running her fingers down into his boxers and massaging his shaft, circling them around his head and secretly measuring it against her palm. Okay, so he was a lot bigger than she expected, but that wouldn't stop either of them, she was sure of that.

Looking into each other's eyes one last time through heavy breaths, they could both tell they were approaching their limits. They slipped each other out of their underwear, both already soaked with need. Nepeta hovered herself over him, almost overcome with the desire to slam herself down on his member without any hesitation. “A-are you ready?” She said, a distinct quaver in her tone. “I-I am if you are...” Tavros replied. They were both so anxious that she had inadvertently picked up his speech pattern. Nepeta bit her lip and prepared for what was about to happen.

She gently lowered herself down onto his length, trying to mentally ready herself, but nothing could have prepared her for how amazing it felt. She could feel him spreading her, the indescribable sensation of the pressure filling her was almost too much for her to bear, and she nearly climaxed there and then. The girl let out a sound that was halfway between a moan and a scream, driven only by the subconscious pleasure that her partner was providing. Tavros was so overwhelmed by lust that he could only clamp his eyes shut and offer a series of hitched breaths, each letting off their own adorable noises that Nepeta lapped up and savored. She pleaded for more, and he gladly provided, pulling her face down toward his and mashing her mouth against his in a deep kiss, their tongues probing each other as Tavros began to slowly move his hips up and down, with Nepeta doing the same as they found a comfortable rhythm.

They both knew they couldn't keep things up for much longer. In that moment, they were both madly in love with each other, so heavily overcome with passion that nothing else in the world mattered, no other person in the universe could have made them as happy as the one they were holding, as if they themselves were their own world to be conquered. Eventually, Tavros felt himself go over the edge, twitching slightly as he nearly screamed her name, filling her with warmth. That alone was more than enough to do the same for Nepeta, only able to muffle her own beautifully anguished cries by forcing her mouth against his and riding their orgasms out together, wrapped around each other.

They sat there, still connected, basking in the afterglow for what seemed like hours. Nepeta fell asleep first, lying there against Tavros' stomach, with him following suit shortly after. He was the first to wake up, and he delicately pulled himself out of her, picked her up, and carried her off to the shower facilities on the meteor. She woke up on their way there, and they both cleaned themselves off, returned to their clothes, and came back to normalcy. Over the next few hours, they would spend their time catching up; discussing their feelings, talking about each other, talking about themselves, and generally enjoying the mere presence of one another. Time passed faster than either ever would have expected, but they didn't care. They had all the time in the world.

For them, there wasn't anything else anymore. They had each other, and they loved each other. And they loved themselves.

And that was all that really mattered for them. Being together.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, so please leave me some critiques! I wanna get better at this.


End file.
